Summer is in full swing here in Florida and for me that means a much needed break from our homeschool schedule, daily visits from my 2 nephews Cy  and Eli , and a realization that I don’t have what it takes to be a #BoyMom (and I’m ok with that)! I used to long for a son, and up until a few month ago I thought I still might try for one but, for now, I am cured of that longing. [After a cross-country move, the thought of diapers and breast feeding again after 6 years is too much like starting over again-again, but I digress.] Boys are something else! They are funny and creative and gross in so many different ways than girls (yes girls are gross too, just differently)! It’s so funny how what I wanted was not actually what I needed and what I needed wasn’t exactly what I wanted. I’m so glad God knows the difference and that he chose now to show me his wisdom.
I grew up in a home surrounded by women. It was me, my mother and my two older sisters. My mother’s ex husband was also in the mix for about 10 years but when he and my mother divorced he divorced me as well so that was the end of that relationship. I didn’t know who my father was until I was 16 so I grew up longing for a father or at least a brother but the closest I got was a goofy uncle who I love to death and 2 boy cousins who beat me up every chance they got, even though I was older than them. When I found out who my dad was I was blessed with 2 more older sisters and, finally, an older brother; but my father and brother both lived in different states so my desire for a close male relationship was left unfulfilled. Once I got married and my husband and I starting trying for a baby it was obvious, I wanted a boy! I believe that desire was fulfilled with my first pregnancy which ended in a miscarriage at 8 weeks. Months later, during my second pregnancy, I found out that I was having a girl and I was unexpectedly terrified. I’ve spent all my life surrounded by women [now including my 7 beautiful nieces] but, just like the stereotype, growing up without my father and witnessing abuses by other men towards women in my life had left me with issues when it came to men and issues with self-esteem and worth. I was so afraid of passing on those issues to my little girl. Six years into being a #GirlMom I’ve realized that God had a greater purpose by giving me the gift of a little princess. He has brought me face to face with so many of my issues and helped me to overcome them because He and I want the same thing, we want to raise our girl to be whole and secure in her identity in Him.
I’m so thankful for the 9 boys that call me Titi (that’s, Auntie, for my non-hispanic readers ;-)) and the 1 on the way. I admire my brother and sisters (and in-laws) for raising such strong, respectful, loving young men. My heart swells when I see the brotherly love on display between my nephews. I don’t know if I could have done such an amazing job teaching little boys how to be good men but I’m so glad I have the chance to teach a little girl to be a good woman. Maybe in the future I’ll have a chance to do that. Who knows? But for now, I’m more than happy letting the boys go home every evening and snuggling up with my girl. Besides, I do have a #PuppySon and he’ll be a momma’s boy forever.