Five months ago I was on fire. I had plans. I had goals. I was on a mission. I was going places. Then all of a sudden God said, “Go!” But not in the direction I was headed, he sent me in a totally different direction…
Late last year I resurrected my former blog, My Life as a Sacred Song. I was so excited. I had plans to write at least 3 posts a week building up to daily posts. In early January I began re-branding the blog, translating my posts for my Spanish-speaking friends, and preparing for a move to WordPress with a February 1st grand debut. But before that day could come, on January 22 to be exact, my husband asked a question that I quickly realized was prompted by the Holy Spirit. His question was, “Is it crazy that I just want to pack up everything and move to Florida?” My answer was a simple but heartbreaking, “No.” You see in the months (and to be honest years) leading up to that moment my husband had given his all – to work, to ministry, to me and our daughter – and he had gotten to the point where he needed more out of life than what he was currently getting. So I couldn’t blame him for having the desire to start over somewhere new even if I was content where we were. I had watched him move through life with little satisfaction for too long not to be supportive now that I had a chance to do something about it.
Before we could move forward with any plans we had to come before the Lord and ask for his direction. In my experience, if I ask the lord for confirmation of something he is pretty quick to respond but the swiftness of his response on this occasion literally took my breath away. I vividly remember, not even 48 hours after my husbands question, leading my church in worship when in my spirit I heard Him whispering to me, “I am leading you out from this place…everything is going to be ok here WHEN you go…it won’t be easy but if you trust me it will be worth it…” This was the first time I literally experienced gut-wrenching pain but in an audible voice I shouted, “I’ll follow you, even if it hurts!” However, even after that experience I still doubted. I said to myself, “Maybe I misinterpreted things. Maybe I didn’t hear what I thought I heard. Maybe I was mistaken.” I was in denial so the very next day He spoke to me again, even more clearly, this time through a YouTube preaching by Pastor Joann Rosario Condrey – God said Go! I can’t tell you how many things were said in that message that were precise and exact to my situation even down to her mentioning the song I was singing the day before while he was whispering to my heart. So from that moment on, in my mind, it was a done deal – we were moving across the country; leaving our church, our family, our friends and home in Michigan and trusting God to provide and bring us into a new life in Florida.
And he did, seemingly without warning we were on our way. Within a week we had rented out our home and within two we were moved out. In mid February my husband left to Florida to secure a job, which he did within a week of arriving. By the end of March, on my 29th birthday, we were approved for a town-home in West Palm Beach and on April 10th we moved in.
Through all the stress and the tears, the doubt and the setbacks, God kept proving himself faithful but in the back of my mind I kept thinking about the plan I had. The beautiful new website sitting un-launched. The missed deadlines and the lost readership. I had to put my plan on the back burner so I could be there for my family, so that I could support my husband in the move and make sure all my daughters emotional needs were being met after being uprooted from the only place she’d known as home. And then finally, just yesterday, I felt the stirring again, I heard the voice again say, “Go! But not to a different state or city. Go forward with your plan! Go forward with your goals! Go forward on your mission! Go!”
So here I am on June 1st, well past bedtime, giving new life to this old dream. And I’m so happy. I don’t know where the journey will lead from here but with the experiences I’ve had with the Lord in these last 5 months I know that he’s got a bigger better plan than the one I have in mind. And I can’t wait to watch it unfold.